Kriss Akabusi's Blog

What is it that you are pretending to not know that you know?

On the face of it a very weird question and one that I had to answer when meeting with a coach/friend of mine this week. She gave the example of the business woman, who has created a life style business. A business that in the past not just took care of her needs but that of half a dozen employees/co-workers. One in which she becomes the stalwart of a community, a shining example of success and happiness. However year on year it starts to lose revenue, she makes minor adjustments, buys cheaper products, pulls back on the marketing spend, reduces costs by not replacing leaving staff. Her heart knows that she has got a problem she needs to face up too, review her strategy, take some training address the issues, but her head tells her to style it out, turn a blind eye, keep going and it might go away.

Blaise Pascal said, “The heart has reasons that reason will never know”

This is what I think I know that I’m pretending I do not know… I’m in love with the mother of my child but I dare not let myself know because I would have to do something about it. I would have to get closer, invite her to live with me, tie the knot, worse still make a commitment. My head tells me I don’t know what love is, if I did it is not worth it, you will only get hurt again, experience the pain of abandonment, have to start all over again, feel the desolation of being taken advantage of. My heart say’s jump in with two feet, feel wild abandon, take the risk, you only live once, make it happen, it will be alright on the night, you know she’s worth it, what’s the worst thing that can happen and if it does you will survive. So I find a war going on within me between the head and the heart, between reason and love, betwixt risk and reward, safety verses security good against fulfilment.

It’s good to be single, there is plenty of safety because no one can hurt you, it takes very little risk, you just keep on doing what you are doing, living your life, doing your job, meeting many people having a laugh, it stands to reason, you come home when you want, no one to take orders from, the place is as you left it you’re in command of your own destiny, the world is at peace.

The Bible says’ “greater love hath no man than that he lay down his life for a friend.” It is also quoted in the good book “if you hold on to life you lose it and if you lay down your life you will gain it.” Ha there is the rub. “To be or not to be” said the bard, if I want to gain fulfilment, experience the security of life in another, the reward of two who become one, the depths of love without limits I have to trust my heart and lay down my life so that I will gain it.

I’ve got a long way to go before I break the chains that bind me, Jean Jacques Rousseau said, “Man is born free yet everywhere he is in chains” Our past experiences, and relationships powerfully restrain us or create defence mechanism and coping strategy that were once designed to help us but now only aid to hinder our development. I’m often quoted in my speeches and seminars as saying “the past is for reference not for residence” but as always it is very hard for the physician to heal themselves. I am aware that I don’t want to live a life never having loved or more importantly have dared to be loved. I don’t want to go through life being so safe that I don’t feel secure, experiencing a good life which is not quite fulfilling. I do want to be on my death bed saying, I jumped in with both feet, I lost much but found so much more.

The cat is out of the bag, I’ve told you what I think I know that I am pretending I don’t know, what about you, in your personal life, relationships, family, friends, business, community, spirituality is there something going on that you know but are pretending to not know? One thing I do know is that if we (you and I) don’t take action on these things the head that now says “what if” will in it’s finally moments say “if only” I don’t know about you but for me in that day I want my heart that says “how” in its final beat to go “wow!”

Your life is not yours alone

“So what are you waiting for?”

Six words that I feel could make a massive impact on my life if I dwell too long on them, and probably for you too if you take them to heart.
My friend and fellow professional speaker Stephen Head had to go to the funeral of his long time friend Philip Duncombe (Phil) who finally lost his 5yr battle with cancer Christmas Day 2009.  Apparently it was a full joyful service celebrating the life of this ordinary man who lived an extraordinary life.  In the last five years he had determined that while he would fight this disease he was going to live each day as if it would be his last.  So, on New Years day the service was full and one person after another recited how much fun, exploration, growth and development had been had by each individual he had touched during those last 60 months.  Steve had seen him three days before his demise and still with no regrets or self pity Phil had told him “This year as time became more precious I have had four holidays abroad, sailing, golfing and spending time with the people I loved to be with”.  He had played the best golf courses in the world, he had engaged with friends and family with hi intensity, ensuring the best wine, fine food, and best entertainment taken in, he had set up foundations, mentored people at work and within the community, provided for all who he would leave behind including the casket that had once been his temple.  He made peace with his friends and pardoned his enemies and allowed no negativity around the illness that continued to return after each remission.  He lived a full life each day…  so what are you waiting for?
“Something’s gotta give”

Synchronicity, coincidence, happenstance one way I know when God, Spirit, or Life is speaking to me is when situations converge one atop another.  I have been in deep thought and contemplation over the last week about the life story of Steve’s friend and the application to my current “Sitz im Leben” (life situation) when yesterday another of my friends (I do have a couple), Liz Strangways who is also a work colleague and fellow sojourner in life on twitter, (the social communication community) out of the blue posted  “so what are you waiting for?”  There ensued some dialogue between us about this and what it meant to us both.  By the end of the evening I knew my Reticular Activating System was in full flow when three hours later I flicked on the television to watch the film “Something’s Gotta Give” starring Jack Nicolson, Keanu Reeves, and Diane Keaton.  Jack Nicholson playing wealthy billionaire Harry Sanborn who at 63yrs old continues to live a bachelor lifestyle dating women (under 30) in every city he finds himself until life halts him in his tracks.  Dr Julian Mercer  played by Keanu Reeves informs him as he has recovered from an emergency operation that he’d had a massive heart attack which would have proved fatal without the kind attention and immediate action of Erica Barry a successful playwright played by Diane Keaton who happens to be the mother of Jack’s latest conquest.  And so the love affair unfolds with twists and turns, avoidance of commitment from Jack, denial of intimacy from her until eventually  Jack finally realises that he is in love with Diane, towards the end of the film I heard Jack (I think it was him) or someone saying to him, “so what are you waiting for”.

Make each day your master piece – John Wooden

John Wooden was the legendary basket ball coach of UCLA  that won 10 consecutive titles between 1965-75 and his well renowned phrase to his team was, in whatever you do “make each day your master piece.”  So what is your master piece?  What are you waiting for to live a full life today?  Are you waiting for Cancer or a Heart Attack to galvanise you to live the life you have always wanted or think you may do once other things are in order?  We keep on living our life as if it has no end as if there is no final whistle, no calling to account.  I have a situation in my life which is really calling for my attention, a little boy of two year of age who I keep on saying I would do anything for, would die for, would give my life.  I don’t want to go into any deeper details on this forum but I do know that I have to answer this question in relationship with him, and if answered in the affirmative would drastically join the course of my life and that of my son. That is me, what about you, what situation in life is waiting for your attention, if you were to die in 18months time without addressing the issue would it be a source of regret, pain, disappointment?  If answered in the affirmative I ask you, so what are you waiting for?

“When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things.” I Cor. xiii. 11.

“Ageism, also called age discrimination, is stereotyping of and discrimination against individuals or groups because of their age…. The term was coined in 1969 by US gerontologist Robert N. Butler to describe discrimination against seniors… Butler defined ageism as a combination of three connected elements. Among them were prejudicial attitudes towards older people, old age, and the aging process;” Wikipedia
The tables have turned in the 21st century and I find a new form of Ageism (or prejudice against the ageing process), which might also be termed “Peter Panism”. There are Adults in their fortieth years desiring to hang on to their twenties, battling for the ground formally occupied by the aspiring prepubescent. Like Peter Pan they refuse to grow up or bow to the sands of time, stalking the ground previously rendered to enquiring teenagers. Like the 15 year old girl with sophisticated make up or the seventeen year old fluffy bearded male these maturing elements within humanity seems to be aping their mid twenty something counterpart.
For example if we look at the dating process it is common to be introduced to newly single persons who have gone through a midlife transition (or crisis) showing off the latest beau or hunks in their life as my boy/girlfriend, these gushingly coy or exuberant couples are in their forties and fifties. In the western world where marriage is no longer for life we are in severe need to find a term to describe ones mate when one reaches post twenties and the lady/man in one’s life is not your wife/husband or civil partner. I have been divorced some five years now and one lady I was dating took umbrage to being called my lady friend (I did not know how else to address her-I was 48) when she asked me to define our relationship. She was three years older than me but said, “Lady Friend is too frumpy I don’t want to be defined as middle aged mother or ex house wife!” Of course I agreed we all have a right to define ourselves according to the light within us but for me the term lady friend meant neither, it only meant that she was somebody who I had entered an exclusive relationship with but was too mature for me to be comfortable calling a girl. She wanted something dynamic, exciting sparkling, that talked about emancipation, exploration and joie de vive. Fair enough but why can’t somebody who is in their early 40’s or 50’s not be avante garde, fashionable, energetic lively and still embrace the fact (in my opinion) that they are now in their middle ages? I’m all these things but at 51yrs old I don’t want to be anybodies boyfriend and I do hope contemporary society can find a new term for this conundrum.
On another instance I recently had a discussion with a newly acquired twitter friend about me being middle aged; I also made the mistake of putting her and some of our contemporary fellows into that category too. There ensued a heated but civil debate about the subject matter. In a trimester system of young, middle and old age I termed middle age as somewhere between 40 and 60 years old. Biblically speaking man is allotted three score years and ten and then he dies, and in spite of the advances in modern medicine not much has changed as the following research shows:- www.efmoody.com/longterm/lifespan. US National Center for Health Statistics (10 Oct 2001) American males born in 2000 now enjoy an average life expectancy of 74.1 years, up 0.2 years from 1999. Females have an average life expectancy of 79.5 years, up 0.1 years. The Japanese are still the top of the longevity life list with both sexes on average living into their 80’s. Whatever in the light of this data when then is middle age? At what age does humanity arrive at the zenith and cross roads of physical, emotional and intellectual maturity? And a more important question that cannot be answered by this post where do the real youth of our community go to express their unique difference and individuality?
Some ten years ago I read an insightful book on the masculine maturing process by Robert Bly called Iron John in which he bemoaned the fact that for men (I would add woman) the rites of passage in the western world had been blurred if not made extinct. Around the same time I read another book that really impacted my growth and development by Judith Voirst called necessary losses. The Amazon editor say’s that Voirst book “demonstrate that growing and aging involve a succession of conscious and unconscious losses, including the loss of youth” I think society is impoverished when adults refuse to accept the mantle of responsibility that comes with letting go of the past and embracing the future.
The final word is given to an article in the New York Magazine:-
“This is an obituary for the generation gap. It is a story about 40-year-old men and women who look, talk, act, and dress like people who are 22 years old. It’s not about a fad but about a phenomenon that looks to be permanent. It’s about the hedge-fund guy in Park Slope with the chunky square glasses, brown rock T-shirt, slight paunch, expensive jeans, Puma sneakers, and shoulder-slung messenger bag, with two kids squirming over his lap like itchy chimps at the Tea Lounge on Sunday morning. It’s about the mom in the low-slung Sevens and ankle boots and vaguely Berlin-art-scene blouse with the $800 stroller and the TV-screen-size Olsen-twins sunglasses perched on her head walking through Bryant Park listening to Death Cab for Cutie on her Nano”.

Read more: Up With Grups: The Ascendant Breed of Grown-Ups Who Are Redefining Adulthood — New York Magazine http://nymag.com/news/features/16529/#ixzz0YH4iGrMO
Each to their own I agree but still a wry smile breaks forth from my lips.

Adieu Môn Amie

I have a little test for you this week as I enter Blog 7. Off the bat let me say you are at a disadvantage if you have not been regularly exposed to British television commercials, but there in lays my point.

•    A    “Good with Food”
•    B    “I’m loving it”
•    C    “The Ultimate Driving Machine”
•    D    “Believe in Better”
•    E    “Vorsprung Durch Tecknik”

Link the phrases above with the multimillion pound Brands below, answer to be revealed at the bottom of the post.

1.    Sky TV
2.    Mac Donalds
3.    BMW
4.    Audi
5.    Cooperative Society
Like many people I often have the television on in the corner of the house; not because I am watching it but as part of the background ambience.  It was only after the third of fourth time I heard myself saying, “Believe in Better” that I realised I had taken on board the subliminal messaging from Sky TV.  What had started out with a rather beauty female voice underplayed with a humming tune extolling the virtues of Sky HD ready TV then ending by emphasizing the words “SKY…believe in better”.  Six months later I just needed the words “SKY” in the familiar tone to get me to give the pay off and I realised right there how pernicious and pervasive this form of advertising is, how easy it is to brain wash or indoctrinate the human mind.

It is easy to see then how even the most independent thinker is able to be engineered or guided to a particular way of thinking. I will never forget in my first class of principles of correct thinking how the visiting professor taught us that “simple logic is anything but simple”.  He then went on to give us this example:  an archaeologist finds evidence of human remains, some rudimentary eating utensils and a roaring fire and then postulates, it is logical to assume that this scenario shows that our ancestors had learnt to cook their food on a fire and eat in a civilised manner.  Of course, the whole class nodded in approval, it was simply logical to assume the hypothesis of the professor as correct.  That was until he then pointed out that it was possible that the human was cooked on the fire and eaten by something else
On average our five senses are being bombarded with a million random stimuli per day, and it is the job of the Reticular Activating System (RAS) to decipher the “things that matter most from the things that matter least” but it is not fool proof.
Some twenty years ago at an international athletic event I entered into a full stadium of an expectant British Public, these where heady days, the athletics team of our country was on a high, winning medals or making finals in all events. I was focused, prepared to do battle in the arena, the ambience of the crowd part of the energising process to release the coil of highly strung energy.  It is important to stay focused, wear the sound as a cloak for intensity but block out the noise to avoid distraction  when all of a sudden  as I was getting my track suit off and heading to my blocks I heard, “Papa” shrieking through the night air.  My RAS the automatic mechanism inside my brain that brings relevant information to your attention made me alert to the voice of my daughter.
When I hear the words, “everybody knows that” or “it “stands to reason” I have to ask myself “do they?” and “does it?” or is it just a bandwagon effect of lazy thinking or has my RAS linked random pieces of information over eons of time.

Let me know forget the quiz if you got:-
A5
B2
C3
D1
E4

Some people Make Things Happen

Some people Watch Things Happen

Some people Ask What the Hell Just Happened

Which Category are you?

Robb Scott and Vicky Beale of Aaron Wallis Sales recruitment http://www.aaronwallis.co.uk/ Matt Markwort of Optimise Lead Generations http://www.optimise-uk.com/ and I were feed up of the constant doom and gloom, we were tired of half glass full thinking, the constant media frenzy as typified by Mr Peston www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/robertpeston the talk of Countries, Banks and Companies up sizing, downsizing, right sizing and capsizing was depressing to say the least and the bars and restaurant around the capital of London down were in the doldrums along with the rest of the country.

While at an ISMM (The Institute of Sales and Marketing Management www.ismm.co.uk in London this December night 2008 we were motivated by the main speaker Matt Crabtree http://www.positivemomentum.com/ and once we collared him to join us we decided to Make things Happen, for ourselves and for our country. MIH2010 was born and the four musketeers left with a spring in the step to be the solution and not part of the problem in GB PLC economic woes.

The biblical instruction “Seek and you will find” was well depicted in the 1989 American fantasy/drama film, Field of Dreams starring Kevin Costner were the catch phrase “Build it and they will come was truly inspirational. The gang of four took that advice and were soon joined by Elizabeth Van Geerestein http://www.papillonpartners.com , Gavin Ingham http://www.gaviningham.com , Dave Thomas http://www.spy-games.com and Mark Palmer http://markpalmermarketing.com the place rocked on September 17^th in Whittlebury Hall. People came with purpose, speakers delivered with passion.

The Buddhist concept of Karma and the modern day parlance “What goes around comes around” is a great way of explaining what has happen in part with the collapse of our market economy. A few greedy bankers and a multitude of lazy journalist took eighteen months to convenience Joe Blogs to stop spending and start hoarding. By the Christmas Peak, retail outlets were discounting by 80% reducing their margins to zero just to get rid of stock that the consumer society decided that they maybe did not really need just yet, and the whole system came tumbling down like a stack of cards. I’m as guilty as the next man reducing my net spending by 40% just to save for the rainy day. One conference I spoke at last year the company in question had turned over £270 million with double digit growth and a twelve percent profit margin but had decided that it might be prudent to cut meetings by 50%, cut expenses by the same margin and to allow natural redundancies to take place by not replacing those who were leaving, why? This would save a million quid on their expenditure bill. I pointed out that this otherwise successful company by taking such a miserly attitude would contribute to the malaise of the country and had rewarded hard working team members with less slice of the pie. It would be like a premiership football team who had won the FA Cup cutting wages, and playing with ten men instead of eleven and expecting the players to be motivated to compete at the highest level.

When Adam Smith the Scottish, philosopher/economist 1723-1790 in his seminal tract “the wealth of nation” wrote about the “invisible hand” and “Laissez Faire” economics he knew that in order to gain wealth one had to spend it. That one had to give in order to receive, that literally what “goes around comes around” and that if a community of masters and workers maintained this ideology it thrived whereas if one party usurped the other it unravelled “The quantity of every commodity brought to market naturally adjusts itself to the effectual demand… If at any time it exceeds the effectual demand, some of the component parts of its price must be paid below their natural rate.” It is time now for each and every one of us to be the solution and not the problem, stick the two fingers up to the naysayer and doom mongers, spend instead of hoard, support the system not undermine it  create the wealth of  the nation and Make It Happen 2010.

Adieu

Hello one and all,

To quote motivational speaker author and trainer Stephen Chandler from his book 100 ways to motivate yourself. “If anything is worth starting it is worth starting badly”

I’m very new to blogging and it shows. So far I have written my blogs with enthusiasm and wild abandon without a realisation that it is of itself an art form. I was very honest when I started and said I did not have a clue but with a little encouragement began anyway. I was prepared to start badly. I would just talk/write about things that interested or exited me and if that found resonance anywhere cool.

Pretty quickly I have had feedback from a few quarters (all welcome) on how a blog should be formatted and what its contents should be. I guess this depends on what the aim of the blog is. I want my blog to be an eye on what’s happened in the mind of Akabusi that week, a chance to refresh my page, and an opportunity for people to visit my website and who knows maybe employ my services or support my charity.

Still this week I will keep it simple, narcissistic, self centred ; ]

Shakira was brilliant superb, bellisimo! September 4th was a proud day for mother and father.

The child is the father of the man, give me the child and I will give you the man, was a mantra common within Jesuits circles though out the enlightenment period. I was privileged to see the handiwork of Monika (my former wife) and me as we had a double whammy Friday last. Shakira our youngest had her graduation ceremony from Mountview Theatre of Performing Arts after an apprenticeship that spanned some dozen years via a variety of mediums, and to top it all we went to see her performing in Wimbledon Theatre with her maiden company as they took us through a journey of High School Musical 2, a high energy, youth and colourful drama highlighting the themes of rights/responsibility, individuality/community, expediency/integrity- with good out weighing bad in the end. We were both chuffed, clapped in the right place, signed, swooned and exchanged knowing glances of job well done, our daughter radiated pride in the morning and passion in the afternoon.

Psalm 127 “Children are a gift from God… blessed are they who have a quiverful” I must say that it has been awesome to nurture on behalf of the universe two such pleasant souls as Shakira (21) and her senior sister Ashanti (25) into maturity and I can only wonder of the future for their younger brother Alannam (22 months). It was always may aim to provide them with something priceless no one can take away from them-an education. Then to encourage them to find their path that expresses their unique “weltanschuung” (view on the world). It has been important to me and Monika to provide them “roots to grow and wings to fly” and know they are free to be whatever they want to be. Shakira you are awesome my dear now shower the world with you sweet aroma.

Bisous x

“When the Pupil is ready the teacher appears”, is a popular proverb for most people familiar with Zen Buddhism. I have been trying to get out of it, don’t want to do it, don’t even believe I have the ability to do it but and it is a big but it seems that God, The Universe, Good Old Co-incidence depending on your philosophical orientation has conspired for me to take up the mantle of leadership.

TACT (The Akabusi Charitable Trust) www.akabusitrust.org is a fledgling charity founded by myself in 2006, designed to partner with other good causes in alleviating poverty and inequalities in the rural environs of Nigeria. The next stage requires a more hands on CEO/COO to drive the objectives of the organisation, provide guidance to the administrator and encourage/support the Trustees in their decision making process. Only one problem… we can’t afford to hire one… “Simple!”

I’m a typical charismatic visionary, I talk a great deal, am super at dreaming, loving energising a group to do their bit to make things happen, but I have never been one for day to day hands on management attention to detail or robust planning. The fear of this then has stopped me volunteering for a role that is begging to be fulfilled.

The self help Guru Susan Jeffers say’s, “Feel the Fear and do it anyway” and I add because the other side of Fear is an aspect of you waiting to come out. I love free-wheeling and doing stuff I’m good at. It makes me feel good, look good and yes by golly it does me good (my ego any way) to achieve stuff every day, but one lesson I learnt from my time as a track and field athlete is that if you want to get to the next level, you have to step outside your comfort zone, try something different and at times even do some work with you weaknesses. In contradiction of what I have already written I’m sure I can do detail, that I can work to a plan and communicate on a regular basis with my team members if I want to, I suspect that outside of determination, desire, commitment and a can do attitude, what I will need is a helping hand, the trusted mentor coach.

“Asking for help is a strength and not a weakness”, steady on I venture to add a quote of my own J As I look around me I see www.footdown.com a group dedicated to the mentoring, support and encouragement of successful as well as aspiring Senior Management Team (SMT) members. I see my trustees who despite their busy lives have donated a considerable period of time to the investment of my dream, we have a dedicated consultant in Liz who is much more than the title administrator that she bears, recently Janet Hipkiss of www.corporateangels.net has come on board and is driving our presence on social networking and internet marketing and yes we even have an offer from somebody to be a project manager around planning and operational issues on an adhoc basis. All I need then is to ask for help and the teachers are all around me. So what am I waiting for you may ask?

That’s a good question and one you might ask yourself, what are you waiting for? What teachers are waiting for you to ask for help? What areas of your authentic self are begging for exposure but fear of getting things wrong, not being good, being made to look like an amateur are stopping you reaching you higher self or making that contribution to you community or network. You see the Nazarene who walked some 2000 years ago asked “why do you take the splinter from your friend’s eye and miss the beam in yours”. Join me in stepping into the wild side it could be fun as well as educational

Kriss

Voltaire the French Poet, Philosopher and dramatist in his odyssey called Candide advocates having travelled the whole world, suffered wars, pestilence, mishaps and adventures that all one can do is “cultivate our garden” that is to take care of that which is placed before you.

Hello you all, I’m just back from Nigeria the country of my heritage, what an experience.

The charity is flourishing with great people working hard to alleviate poverty in the local rural communities. I have some great pictures of a small Garri (local starch like food product) processing factory, an innovative fashion industry programme, micro finance success stories and the foundations of two hospitals which my charity TACT (The Akabusi Charitable Trust) aim to get fully functioning by 2014 as a PCT (primary care trust) plugging the gaps in medical service not being attending to by the local government at this moment in time. I would love to write more on that and will surely post more on the progress of my work in Africa in a later blog but it is to another issue I wish to refer today.

Kidnapping is rife within South/South and South East part of Nigeria. The local War Lord’s and turf Baron, have added another department to their organisation. An international Nolloywood (Nigerian contemporary of Hollywood/Bollywood) star was abducted and held for ransom. He was set free four days later and a small ransom of N12.5 million £50k was reportedly paid for his emancipation. Surprising he was quoted as saying that he had been treated well with respect and that his abductors had said that this was their last resort. They apologies for the inconvenience to him but pointed out this was their only way of getting a slice of the national cake. Corruption throughout society meant to them that the infrastructure did not exist where they could go to school graduate from university and expect to use their talents and be gainfully employed in contributing to society’s national building programme while advancing themselves and their family’s goals.

The lesson I have learned is “When the King is corrupt a nation perishes” Proverbs 29 v 4, the problem in Nigeria like most African countries is a problem of leadership. The global banking crisis shows us this is a virtue lacking in the first world too.

I am one but I am not the only one. I am reminded that I am but one person however I am not the only person and Edmund Burke the conservative philosopher and politician said, “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing”. Whether I am a good man or not is debatable but what is not up for discussion is me standing by the wayside and doing nothing, I’m not the only one and I thank you and many like you who stand in the gap where ever the services are deficient and do your bit to attend to our garden.

God Bless

Kriss

Hiya all!

Welcome to my blog site. It has been a long time in coming, in particular as I’m not exactly sure what I am going to post – whether to have this as a business site, charity station or personal info channel. So, in the best guise of the undecided, I have now decided for it to be all three. Basically with a little help with a few of my angels I will try to update those who have any interest in following what I am up to on a regular basis, (define regular) once a week I would suggest, but who knows!

I’m just back from California having visited my eldest daughter, Ashanti Akabusi, who now lives and works in Los Angeles, having initially gone out there for her undergraduate programme at USC.

Ashanti – I had a fantastic time with you in La-La land and really enjoyed having a glimpse of your world.

What did I learn? Time really flies, your children are not with you for long, they will find their way, and the things you invest in them when they are young will become the anvil in which they will test all things that come their way on their journey. The Jesuits used to say ‘give me the child and I will give you the man’ because the child is the father of the man.

As I looked into the world that Ashanti inhabits, I recognise that it is one so far removed from the one I entered. Information technology, Global Markets, and Multiculturalism, have ushered us into a converging market place which is lived at a fast pace, with everything in flux; yet I see she has manufactured a niche for herself and is able to hold the tension of the family and my conservative view of the world, juxtaposed with the liberal milieu in which she swims.

And it is great to see! I am proud of the work Monika and I have done over the twenty five years of her life, Ashanti is maturing into a good young citizen, a legacy I’m happy to leave.

I thank the Good Lord for that blessing

Kriss